Thursday, April 20, 2006

Lab + Final = Final + Lab

Last night was my anatomy lab final. It was the last night I had to sniff formaldehyde and trace blood pathways . . . at least for a while.

Okay, everyone. Sing with me, “No more dissection! No more gook! No more cadaver’s dead eyed looks!”

Man. You’d think I’d have grown up by now. Guess not. I’m not getting more mature, I’m just getting more morbid.

[shrug] Oh, well.

I’m not sure how well I did on the test, though. There were at least two questions I know I guessed on, and two I just flat out couldn’t answer. That really disturbs me. If there were four questions I know I botched, how many did I screw up that I don’t know about? The thought scares me. It should scare my future patients, too.

On the plus side, I’m also done with my Chemistry lab. Want to sing another song with me? Sure you do! “No more beakers! No more flasks! No more acid and broken glass!”

There, see? I can be less sick sometimes. Still just as twisted mind you, just less sick.

Of course the semester’s not over so I’m not quite off the hook, yet. I’ve still got a week of classes and two lecture finals.

Now go do your homework.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Two Weeks to Doomsday

Finals are coming up in two weeks, and I am woefully unprepared. I predict one of two things will happen.

  1. My head will explode.

  2. The apocalypse will occur.

Oddly enough, I’m alright with either one of those things right now.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Indecisive Me

As many of you know, I consider my life to have been a perfect example of taking nearly every fork in the road imaginable. In my nearly 40 years I’ve had jobs as diverse as newspaper carrier, retail store clerk, substitute teacher, business mentor, website business owner, studio musician, printing professional and consultant, U.S. Marine, and private music teacher. As the rest of you may know, I’ve been back to school for last year studying biology and chemistry with the idea of applying to chiropractic school. I just can’t seem to make up my mind when it comes to “what I want to do when I grow up.”

It’s gotten worse.

With my recent set-backs in chemistry, and my new music studio, I’ve started seriously thinking about music education full time, instead of Chiropractic. As I look at the path ahead in both directions, I’ll be missing out on a huge chunk of my children’s lives if I pursue the chiropractic side. My oldest son will be 19 and ready to move out by the time I start practice, for heaven’s sake! With all the time I’m devoting to school and work I already feel like I’m losing my children, or at least their childhood. And if I continue on this path, it’s only going to get worse. It’s a cost I thought could deal with by making sure I spent more time with them on the weekends, but it’s not working. The cost is becoming too high.

So anyway, I’m in the middle of my continual “life path re-think” again. A Masters degree in education doesn’t look too bad, and should only take me two or three more years, not six or seven. I’ve tried looking at various scenarios, including trying for an endorsement in science (science teachers are in demand), but in the end I think I’d just be fooling myself. In many ways, I may have been already.

When it comes down to it, I’m a musician. I like all aspects of music: performing, composing, arranging, producing, and teaching. The farther I get away from that, as much as I enjoy medicine and helping people, the farther it seems I’m getting away from myself.

It’s just that when I think about trying to build a career in music, the “security hungry” side of myself starts screaming.  I fear that I’ll never make any real money with it, and may end up with a crappy retirement as well. Then how will be children feel?

I hate balancing myself against my children’s future needs. When I do, nobody seems to win.