Open Wide and say "Ouch"

Tomorrow is my first day in the dentist’s chair to get my teeth fixed and I’m getting nervous. Among other things scheduled for that extended visit is a root canal.

Ick.

I’ve had root canals before, but they’re never fun. Mostly, though, I just hate pain.

It’s not the work, or the recovery pain, that’s the worst, though. It’s those darn Novocain needles. Getting shots in your mouth is bad. Even worse is when they have to stick you in the roof of your mouth.

Guess where most of my work is being done?

I’m shuddering just thinking about it.

My brother likes the nitrous oxide, and he claims it really helps him deal with the pain of the shots. In the past I’ve not done very well with the “happy gas,” though. Instead of being “happy gas” for me, it’s more like “paranoid gas.” Lord knows I don’t need to get paranoid while I’ve got someone coming at me with tiny needles, drills and other sharp, pointy implements of torture.

It’s been several years since I last had nitrous oxide, though. I may give it another try.

Pray for me. Pray for Percocet.

Remember, if you want to help me out, and ease my stress levels, you can donate money to help me get my teeth fixed by clicking on the “donate” button on the left.

Thanks!

Announcing the Fix John’s Teeth Fund and Contest

I've got crappy teeth.

I know. That was an insanely personal and embarrassing reveal but, I don't care. It's just the way it is. I've always had soft teeth. It doesn't look like it going to change much.

Unless I give up soda.

Which, believe it or not, I'm seriously entertaining. It turns out that stuff will kill you and I've been hooked on it for years.

Several years ago my dentist and I had created a plan to fix most of my teeth. Within a month I lost my job, my insurance, and my income.

So much for getting my teeth fixed.

Several years later (including a few years of putting it off so my wife and children could get their own dental work done) I've gotten my income level back to a point where I feel like I can get back to the dentist and get me teeth fixed.

Hooray for me.

The trouble is that, because it's been so many years, my teeth are that much worse. So I need more work. A lot more. Not quite half the price of a new car kinda work. It’s going to cost enough that I was actually teasing my dentist with the idea that I would get new teeth, and he would get a vacation to Disneyland.

Even though it's going to be expensive, I'm feeling okay about it. It’s a much more permanent solution than anything I’ve had done to my mouth before. I've wanted to get this done for quite some time, and I'm not going to let anything put me off of it this year.

It's kind of funny. My wife has been talking about a buying a few things like a new cell phone, or faster internet access, or cable TV ... you name it. See, we can probably afford it but, I don't want to do it. All it means is less money for me to spend on getting my teeth fixed.

Part of the problem, though, is that the dentist wants the money in advance. His office won't carry the bill, and I can't really blame them. The lab-work alone will cost a bunch.

So, I'm scrambling to get money to pay him. I've got enough to get started in savings, but not all of it.

To help offset the cost I’ve decided to do a bit of shameless begging. Yes, I’m that pathetic. I’ve set up a fund that I’m asking you to donate to. Please. Any amount you want. All of it will go to pay my dental bill and get me new teeth. You’ll see a donation button (courtesy of PayPal) over on the right of the page. Be sure to leave me a note with the donation so I know who to thank for my new biting ability. (See? I knew you guys were nice! Maybe there is hope in the world.)

Maybe I can hold a contest, or something. The person who donates the most will get ... oh, I don’t know. Something personal, like a signed original of some of my music, or some other such thing.

The nightmare ... erm ... adventure ... begins next week. Wish me luck.

Better yet, send me money.

(I feel so pathetic.)

Surviving Christmas

I hate the holidays. I thought I was going to enjoy them this year for a change but, that was just wishful thinking. Maybe I was hallucinating from all the excitement of not having to go to work for two whole weeks. I don't know.

In any case my Christmas and New Years were just as crappy as they usually are. Hours of feeling uncomfortable at my in-laws, more "Honey-Do" projects than you can shake a stick at - you name it, I had to endure it.

To top if off I ended up getting strep throat two days after Christmas, and spent most of my "holiday vacation" laid-up in bed. Thank goodness for Star Trek videos.

Between the DVD player and forced sleep I didn't really get to do much. Not doing much would normally be wonderful for a holiday, but when you're sick it's not so much a choice as a forced way of life.

What a jip. I started feeling better just in time to go back to work.

Now that I'm back to work I think my boss has given me a cold. He's had something going around his family and I guess he wanted to share with his friends, too. Misery loves company.

The trouble is that I can't take off work and rest like he did, today. I've got too many new clients to deal with. That creates an immediate conflict with my belief that you should stay home if you have a cold. You know? So you don’t spread the germs like my boss did? I’ve met way too many people that just don’t grasp simple germ theory.

I hate being sick.

Is Death Coded In Our DNA?

Have you ever wondered if death might be a beneficial thing, in terms of human evolution? I’m not talking about destroying the species, I’m talking about the idea that there is a beneficial side to members of the species dying at prescribed times. If that’s true, is death encoded in our genes?

This sounds really morbid, I know. Maybe it is.

Let me tell you what got me thinking about it, though.

Lately I’ve been seeing different reports about how the human lifespan is increasing. You’d think that this would be the goal with evolution. Long life = healthy species. But, we’ve also been seeing more degenerative diseases cropping up in our society than we ever had before. Some are speculating it’s because we’re living longer than we used to. People of earlier generations just didn’t live long enough to develop them.

I’ve also been thinking about the problems with cloning. The cells used to clone animals seem to know how old they are. The clones develop diseases comparable to the older animals and die earlier than they should.

It makes sense. Some have speculated that aging is simply the result of mistakes cropping in from time to time within our DNA when cells replicate, especially in the mitochondria. Cells are pretty good at catching those mistakes, but it’s not a perfect system.

Now let’s look at forest fires. It turns out that forest fires may not be all that bad for the plants in the forests. Destroying old growth makes room for the new growth that lives below the vertical fire line. They’d be choked out by the older growth, otherwise.

This isn’t a great example, because it’s environmental, but stay with me.

The same hold true with animals. When older animals die, or herds are thinned by predators, there’s less competition for resources. The younger ones have a better chance for survival.

Anything that codes for a mutation in a species’ genome, that allows it to adapt to changing conditions and survive while others die, allows that mutation to be passed on to it’s children. It creates a stronger creature that is better “fit” for survival. If death allows for the younger, stronger creatures to more easily survive, could death be an adaptation that is actually coded in our genome as a tool for survival?

It seems contradictory, I know. But, what if it’s not? Does that mean that our efforts to prolong the lifespan of those who are genetically damaged, or otherwise have been “selected for death,” run counter to evolutionary progress as a species?

The social ramifications of this, if it’s right, are frightening. I can easily imagine the potential horror of governmental policies that could be developed around this idea. Children that are “imperfect” would be left to die. Adults that are “imperfect” could be left to die. Their contributions to our society would be lost. If you really wanted to “go down the rabbit hole” with this, it could lead to a “Logan’s Run” or “Brave New Word” scenario, where "undesirables" aren’t just allowed to die, they are actively killed.

And all by government mandate.

Sometimes I scare myself.